When done right, sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Unfortunately, there are a multitude of things that can go wrong in the process. You could have an annoying habit that turns her off, you could be boring in bed or you might forgo the post-sex cuddle
When this happens, the moment is gone and your are both left unsatisfied.
So how can you become a better lover? These five tips will leave her wanting more:
Think beyond the thrust. On average, men thrust for about 3-7min before it’s game over. However, research shows this isn’t enough time to arouse most women. Stretch out your performance with clever positioning
1. Passion is everything
In a survey of 700 women done by Men’s Health, 42% of the women said passion is the key to unlocking her wildest sexual desires in bed.
“That means being in the moment and not being distracted,” Joel Block, Ph. D., psychologist and the author of Secrets of Better Sex told Men’s Health. “Sex is a conversation, and she doesn’t want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry.”
The survey also found women like to be reassured during sex, that you enjoy what is happening. Connection is also very important to a woman. Think bursts of eye contact, lip nibbles and all other kinds of physical and verbal contact.
This contact shows you are engaged in what is happening which increases the passion and turns her on even more.
2. Having an orgasm isn’t the be-all and end-all
It’s no secret it’s harder to make a woman orgasm than a man. On average, it takes a man 5 minutes to climax and a woman 20 minutes. So a don’t expect the woman to orgasm every time.
A 2008 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found stress about sexual performance significantly decreases female arousal, so make sure she’s relaxed and in the moment. This will help her climax, and even if she doesn’t, sex feels great and she’ll be enjoying herself anyway.
3. Fancy positions aren’t always the best
When it comes to sex and making a woman climax, it’s often the old faithful positions that will get the job done.
The best positions for a woman are ones that focus on the clitoris and these are missionary, girl on top and doggy style.
To help enhance missionary, get her to put a pillow or two under her butt to lift it at an angle, this will help you rub against her more when you’re thrusting.
When she’s on top, make a V with two fingers and place it directly over her clitoris which will stimulate her clitoris, inner labia and urethra.
For doggy, reach around and play with her clit during and keep the thrusts short and shallow instead of deep and fast.
4. Foreplay can be the shining star
In the survey, two out of five women said their last orgasm occurred during foreplay, not intercourse.
“’Foreplay’ is a terrible word because it implies that it’s leading to something more important,” sexuality counsellor Beverly Whipple told Men’s Health.
“You’ll both have more fun if you think of it as sex play and make it about discovering and enjoying each other, not just reaching the finish line.”
The survey also showed when asked the ran their partner’s bedroom skills, the top two complaints were lack of sexual creativity and terrible manual sex skills.
Next time you plan a bit of bedroom rodeo, tell her you’re going to go three times without penetration. This will inspire creativity and you’ll both find new ways to get each other off.
5. If she’s distracted, the sex will be subpar
“If a woman is distracted by anything—work, lack of sleep, chores, a fight she had with a friend—it can interfere with her arousal,” Whipple said.
Over 70% of the women surveyed said when a man helps around the home this is a massive turn-on, this means doing the dishes, cooking dinner and doing the laundry.
By helping her around the home, this will mean she is less distracted when it comes to love making, making it more passionate and benefitting the both of you.